Why is one of my testicles lower than the other?

Q: I am a 19 years old guy. I want to ask that my left testicle is slightly lower and behind the right one – is it normal? Will it create any problem in the future while having intercourse or anything like that. Also the area around my penis on thighs and buttocks has turned dark because of itching. It looks like dead skin. What ointment should I apply to get rid of it. I used itch guard/ring guard for a while, but didn't prove to be much effective

Kindly advise. Thank you.

A: Lets take this one by one.

The problem with your testicles is a balancing issue. You see, when you are walking about, your balls are resting on the crotch of your jeans. the fact that one is lower and behind the right one means that your ball balancing skills need to be enhanced. Next time you wear a pair of jeans or trousers, see how the balls are placed. You will see that the left testicle is not in balance with the right  one. To fix this, you need to train your testicles. Best is to use duct tape on your left testicle. Tape them to your buttocks and try not to hop.

If you are disbalanced in your testicles, yes, it will have an impact on your lovemaking and intercourse. You might find that women complain about cellulite, that’s pockmarks and dips in their back of their thighs and buttocks. Those are caused by the gonads hitting them when making love. If you have disbalanced testicles, then your poor girlfriend will have unsymmetrical cellulite. Also having disbalanced testicles will mean that her right side of the vagina will get disproportionately rubbed, not good for marital relations. Would you like it if your wife cooks your brinjal only on the left side?

Finally, the dead skin is because you are shagging a black goat, replace with a white goat. Also apply fair and lovely, all problems will be solved.