Saturday, April 21, 2012

Medicine to decrease mans desire for sex with other women

I am 36 years old and my husband is 46. I’ve always read about the many ways of improving sex lives of couples, but are there any medicines or therapies that can decrease a man’s desire for sex with women other than his wife? We’ve tried counselling and failed. My husband is sexually involved with other women — this is ruining my marital peace. What can I do?


The answer is very simple, apply the Bobbitt procedure and he will be fine.

Witness the result

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Guy cutting off head of Penis accidentally

I am 18 years old. A fortnight ago, I was trimming my pubic hair with a sharp pair of scissors. But I cut off the head of my penis accidentally. By God’s grace, I am still alive. However, I would like to know how to regrow the head of my penis.


Answer: Don't be silly, why do you want to regrow the penis? just use a scraper and carve out a spiral groove. Then find a bottle cap which fits on top of your penis and fit the cap to the your penis. Now you can really say that you got screwed.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Are chillies good for getting a better erection

Some people say that eating chillies is good for getting an erection as the chillies make you flush. That is because the blood vessels expand, but to carry that analogy further, instead of eating, rub them on your willy. Direct application is better. Think about it, all the power of chillies ingested through the mouth is spent on doing things to the blood vessels in the mouth and face, and by the time the impact arrives to the groin, it is vastly dissipated. And what happens if all the little chilly does is to flush your willy but leave it limp? not good. Also not sure if you want your willy to be burning and you wanting to dip it into water or yogurt. If you have to do that, might as well as go directly and rub chillies directly into it.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Girl masturbating using running water

Question. I am a 21-year-old girl. I masturbate using running water. I am getting married in December. Will my husband find out about my habit? Will this make my vagina loose? Please reply.

Answer. This is deeply impressive, how do you run water? I think you should do a sex film on this.

More impressive is that you are in India and you have running water. This isn't a tubewell running water, is it? In which case, it will be even more impressive.

Your husband will only find out if he goes running with you. Or jogging. or bathing.

Will this make your vagina loose? no, but it will make it wet, so your husband will be happy.

But have you considered the environment in masturbating to running water? surely that is so wasteful…

How to avoid hair during oral sex?

Q: My question is, I always like to suck on my girlfriend's vagina, but when I saw that place it is full of hair. Ii told her to shave but she is not doing it. If I see hair there, my mind will be upset and I get angry on her.

One more thing is that, she is having huge boobs. She wants to reduce it because she is already very fat and she wants to reduce her weight also.

Kindly advice us in this regard.


A: Leave the damn boobs alone, you silly man, breast reduction is a crime against humanity.

But for the pubic hair, set fire to it and immediately follow it up with some daal on it to stop it burning the skin. You can then have a high protein hairless meal while at it.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

My wife libido is low – how do I change her?

Q: I am a regular guy of 40 years. My wife is a regular too of the same age, But my problem is that she never gets excited for sex. Everytime I ask for sex, she consents but she has to masturbate before she gets excited and let me fuck her. Is this bad? I find it boring and unrewarding. I want to change this.

Can readers suggest me how to change her?

A: That’s because you are asking her for sex, do babu’s get excited if one of the applicants wants to have a licence? No, you need to do something exciting. Shave your head and ask her if you look like a dickhead. Hang rasgullas from your ears and ask if you can eat her out while she is pressing her thighs on your ears. Dont forget to put in a rubber sheet.

If everything else fails, buy a melon

Friday, March 26, 2010

I penetrated but did not ejaculate inside my girlfriend’s vagina – is there any chance of pregnancy?

Q: I'm a 21 year old unmarried guy. While having oral sex with my girlfriend, I inserted my penis to about one inch inside her vagina, that too just for a minute or so. The doubt is that I masturbated around 20-21 hours before this act and had not washed my penis. Is there any chance that she could get pregnant? We both regretted later to do this irresponsible act and promised to each other to use protection next time.

But for this time what should we do? Does she need to consume a contraceptive pill such as I-pill or unwanted-72?. Also I noticed some white sticky liquid around her vagina. What was that?

Kindly help. Thank you.

A: Is that because your penis is just 1 inch long? then you dont have to worry about pregnancy, my friend, you have bigger things (or should that be smaller things) to worry about.

The fact that you didn't wash your penis is not a problem, get your girlfriend checked for mould and moss

The white sticky liquid is tippex, your girlfriend is trying to erase all signs that you were there.