Is coconut oil a good and safe lubricant?

Q: This is Venkat a 29 year old, married one year back. I use coconut oil as a lubricant when I make love to my wife, with out lubrication it has become difficult for us to have sex. I would like to know how safe is it to use coconut oil. Will this prevent sperm from getting into the vagina and prevent pregnancy. Please let me know what would be a better lubricant to use which does not cause any side affects and does not prevent pregnancy.

Answer: Coconut oil is very unsafe for sex. Prolonged use of coconut oil will make your willy head look like a coconut, with a hard shell and hair growing out of it. Castrol Alpha OGL is good. See the blurb here:

High viscosity lubricant specifically formulated to provide complete lubrication where exposed gears are subjected to extreme loads and shock.

Castrol Alpha OGL is a strong-film, heavy metal free lubricant designed to provide economical performance throughout its service life. Castrol Alpha OGL combined with Castrol engineering support goes beyond low initial cost to continue to provide savings through optimized lubricant consumption

Advantages

• Excellent resistance to being rubbed or squeezed from between tooth profiles

• Strong, thick film under operating conditions protects gears against wear, extends component life

• Excellent load carrying capacity protects against extreme loads and shocks; helps minimize gear tooth wear, extends component life

• Film stays on gears assuring continuous gear tooth lubrication while reducing consumption

• Conventional lubricators are appropriate for lubrication control; Solid-free product does not plug dispensing or spraying systems; Product spreads evenly on gear tooth for immediate protection Product maintains flowability, even after service

If you ARE still interested in coconuts, then I suggest you eat the coconuts instead of having sex with your wife. Or better still, you can have sex with a coconut, there you can use coconut oil.

Some also suggest Iodex, but the jury is still out (or is it in) for that one