I want to lose virginity for avoiding any pain in first time sex – what to do?

Q: I am a 27 year old virgin dude. I want to get rid of the skin (foreskin) attached to my penis. It pains when I do handjob. Also I don't want any pain when I will have my first sex. What should I do? Regards

A: Train your penis by wrapping your hand with sandpaper while doing handjob. It will kill 2 birds with one stone, it will train your penis to withstand pain and will abrade the foreskin off.

But since you are a virgin dude of 27 years of age, I suggest you consider investing in a sheep. and rubber boots. and go to a cliff.