My testicles have become loose after joining gym – what do I do?

I am a great fan of yours. My age is 22. I am single. My marriage is being fixed shortly. I have a big problem.

1) I joined ZYM Gym at the age of 17. My gym instructor, my friends keep telling me if I would not wear a supporter, then water will be filled in my testicles and they will be in hanging position soon and believe me the same just happened to me. I think due to this (my testicals are hanging), I am not being able to hold my ejaculation for even 2 minutes.

Please give an answer to me and clear my doubt. Its very urgent maam. I hope you will understand my feelings.

2) I started masturbating at the age of 12. Now I have a very small 4.5 inch penis with 1 minute ejaculation time.

Please help me to improve this thing as my marriage is soon.

 

A:

1. pack chalk around your testicles. Chuna if you prefer it in hindi. then strap a langot over it. Chalk is hygroscopic, it absorbs water, that should help in removal of the water. You could also bathe the testicles in hot sand but use good quality utensils for this.

2. Stop twisting, start pulling.

Masturbation and my foreskin worries me – what do I do?

Q: This is Rak from Chennai. I have something to share with you and know what best can be done.

To start off with, I am a 25 year old guy with a heavy built and I have been wanking since I was in the 6th standard. As a result:

1- My penis is only 4 inches now.

2- I am unable to push down my foreskin when I have a hard on.

3- If I push my foreskin down when my penis is small and then start wanking, I am unable to come.

I know not what to do and to add more worries, my parents want me to get married in the next 6 months. What do I do now? Please help me aunty.

A:Answer is simple, get married to a woman who is less than 4 feet in height, you should be ok then. And keep on pulling the pud, if you stop it, the pressure will build up and either you will explode or your wife will.

Final answer: If you are unable to come after pushing your foreskin down then that means that the Penis god is upset with you. Enough said. Dont push the foreskin down.

How to stop the spread of pimples on my butt?

Q: I am 5'7" tall, 25 years old and unmarried. I am slightly obese but controlling my weight for quite some time. Two years back I had a couple of pimples on my butt. I neglected it then thinking it was natural and it will fade away. But it has spread very badly all over my butt. I fear it may spread onto my back also. This has caused a high inferiority complex in me. I am too shy to even visit a doctor.

Kindly suggest the right ointment for this as I don't want to see a doctor. Will this spreading stop over a period of time. What is the reason for getting pimples on the butt?

A: sandpaper for the pimples. if that is not convenient, rub up against a lamp post, concrete ones are best. If you fail to find a convenient one, try one of the flyover columns. Just a word of warning, avoid the ones which have been used by buffalos and cows.

If you want to use an ointment, then I suggest Chavanprash. I know people eat it, but you need to feed your skin, spreading chavanparash over the pimples will make them shrivel up and drop off. Avoid getting chavanparash on your willy.

My friend masturbates 7 to 8 times a day – how do I counsel him?

Q: One of my friend is a sex addict. He is 23 years old and is pursuing graduation. He watches porn and then masturbates in the room. He does it 7 to 8 times and says he does not feel weakness or fatigue. I know he is a sex addict and I want to help him.Please tell if this is normal or bad? Also help me finding a solution for him.

A: he is not a sex addict, he is actually suffering from a medical condition called as ihavejustreaslisedthatiam23yearsofageanddonthaveagf. This manifests itself in severely enhanced sperm production and a major pressure on his testicles. This condition can either be fixed by banging his head on a brick wall or masturbating. You pick.

Also, why do you want to help him? How many times are you masturbating? Or are you in the room while he is masturbating? Or are you helping him masturbate? How do you know that he masturbates 7-8 times?

How do I end my husband’s nephew’s demand for my milk?

Q: I am a mother of two kids and still nursing my younger one. My husband's nephew who is 20 years old had requested me once to allow him to taste my breast milk. I let him taste. Since then he has made it a regular practice to have my breast milk whenever we are alone. How long should I allow him to continue to drink my breast milk? I have tried to stop him many times but he demands I breast feed him.

Please advise.

A: Of course you should continue giving him breast milk, it is a good high protein diet. Why would you stop? that’s very cruel of you.

He must be stressed as well, have a think about giving him a wank at the same time.

I am smart and attractive – how do I get a girlfriend?

I am a 22 year old boy. I am very smart and fair and when I go any where, girls and ladies looking me but I don't have any girlfriend and I even work in which company where there are no girls but there are some ladies and they likes me a lot.

So what can I do to get a good girlfriend? I am the network security engineer. So there is no girl in our field.

A: have you considered becoming a milkman? milkmen go about delivering milk to homes, and is usually received by women. You will get to meet loads of them.

I am not able to penetrate my wife – please help!

Q: My name is Nayan Bora. I am from Assam. My age is 27 years. Recently I got married with just an 18 year old girl. During several attempts of intercourse with her, I am unable to penetrate her. I come as soon as I put my penis into her pussy. I don't know what to do. She is not happy with me at all. Even I feel embarrassed. It has been three months of our marriage.

So please Aunty, guide on me how to penetrate my wife.

A: divorce her, marry a watermelon